


...in the Wilderness

by Illyrias_Acolyte



Category: Lost
Genre: Bechdel Test Pass, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-23 12:30:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3768553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illyrias_Acolyte/pseuds/Illyrias_Acolyte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the Dharma Initiative compound in 1975, Juliet is just beginning to get used to her new life as a mechanic when she hears of a threat to the children of the Barracks. Unable to sit idly by while children disappear, she ventures into the jungle to face the last thing in the world she wanted to deal with. In flashes to an alternate life, Juliet must coach a young pregnant woman through a difficult time, and help her make a tough decision when her partner gets sick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1975 - The Barracks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gloss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gloss/gifts).



> Canon is not clear on what, exactly, Olivia’s relationship to Horace is. Amy is mentioned as being his wife, certainly, but some deuterocanonical information paints Olivia as his wife as well. It is implied that Olivia is married to someone (who may be Horace), but in the interest of simplicity, I’m retconning Olivia Goodspeed as his sister, not his wife or girlfriend. I’m also retconning Harper as the daughter of Olivia Goodspeed and her unnamed husband. This does not contradict canon, but Harper’s parents are not mentioned in any canonical information. 
> 
> Lastly, I realize that the presence of flashes to the afterlife don't gel well with season five, but I liked the way the story fit together so I'm doing it this way. Besides, they framed it that way as a red herring to distract from the true purpose of the flash sideways, so I see no issue.

Juliet found herself, once again, positioned underneath a van, with dirt under her nails and oil in her hair. Being a mechanic was strangely satisfying. She got all the pleasure of solving a puzzle without the fear of losing her patient. If she couldn’t figure out what was wrong, the only casualty would be the Dharma Volkswagen, and she had gotten very good at figuring out what was wrong. It wasn’t all that different from the surgeries she had performed back at Miami Central. 

The thought jolted Juliet out of the autopilot that normally let her work uninterrupted. She became suddenly aware of the closeness of the van’s undercarriage to her face, the Geronimo Jackson record quietly droning from the record player in the corner, the ever-present humidity swirling around her head like bathwater, and perhaps the most suffocating, how long ago her days in Florida were. How far in her past - or her future, though it didn’t matter much for she had given up trying to puzzle out these questions - had that life been? 

She sighed, shaking herself out of the past she would never be able to recover. Using the undercarriage for leverage, she pushed herself out from under her newest patient just as her clock struck five. She would get no further with the van today, and it was almost Halloween night. As soon as she emerged out into the garage, she could see Amy leaning against the doorframe, a smile on her lips and a basket in her hands. 

“You’re early,” Juliet said. 

“I just got out of work,” Amy replied. “Today’s dinner is egg salad sandwich.” 

“Thanks, Amy,” Juliet said with a smile. “You’re an absolute godsend. I don’t know what I would do without you.” 

“I bet you say that to everyone who brings you food,” Amy teased. 

“Usually I’m the one bringing the food,” Juliet said, and suddenly, the smile became something she had to force. Another unbidden memory flooded to the surface of her mind, this time of the Hydra Station, but she quickly shoved it to the back of her head. 

“Well, not with me,” Amy said. “After you saved my life last year, the least I can do is occasionally make you some easy meals.” 

“Well I appreciate it,” Juliet said as she hauled herself to her feet. “Tonight is Jim’s night to cook, which means that we’ll be having spaghetti, and that’s if he’s feeling fancy.” 

“Paul used to do all the cooking,” Amy said. A wistful smile crossed her face. “He showed me how to do some easy stuff before…” She trailed off uncomfortably, so Juliet used the opportunity to change the subject. 

“How is work going?” Juliet supplied. “I always see the Orchid from afar but I’ve never visited it.” This, at least, was true: she had visited the Orchid, but that event wouldn't occur until thirty years in the future, and John was the only one who had actually gone inside. 

“We’re still trying to get the winter rye to seed,” Amy said, launching into her own autopilot. “The greenhouse makes it easy to grow tropical plants, but the winter stuff is much more difficult. We’re still struggling to find somewhere temperate enough to bury the potatoes. Vegetables don’t do well in such a tropical climate.” Juliet nodded. 

“I’ve noticed,” she said. She pulled a cloth off of her workbench and began to wipe her hands. “Canned sauce is one thing, but it can’t compare to the real McCoy. Do you just grow plants?” 

“That’s classified,” Amy said with a smirk. She touched the side of her nose. “I could tell you, but I’d have to kill you, and then who would I snack with after I get off work?” She pulled the sandwich out of her basket. 

“Olivia and Jeanette are nice,” Juliet suggested. “I haven’t spoken with either in quite a while.” 

“I like to think that Horace and I are still building up to the ‘meeting the rest of the family’ stage,” Amy said, furrowing her brow. “I’ve had some small talk with Olivia, but nothing major. She seems nice, but she’s always in the classroom.” 

“Teaching is difficult,” Juliet said. “My mother was a teacher. She constantly brought her work home with her. Do you know how long it takes to grade thirty different essays written by eight-year-olds? The spelling mistakes alone can drive one to drink.” 

“Anything but that,” Amy said with a grin. “Are you dressing up tonight? It is Halloween.”

“Absolutely,” Juliet said. She tossed the cloth back onto the workbench and walked over to Amy. 

“What as?” 

“It’s a surprise,” Juliet said playfully. She grabbed the sandwich from Amy’s hands and took a grateful bite, swallowing before she spoke again. The two women exited the small garage. “You’ll see at the costume party later.” 

“You’re such a tease,” Amy said. “Come on, let’s go before your sandwich gets cold.” 

“Egg salad is supposed to be cold,” Juliet pointed out as she locked up.

“It’s just an expression,” Amy said with mock annoyance. “Come on. Let’s go see if there are any spots left at the dining hall.” Juliet pulled her hair out of a bun and shook it loose before following Amy away from her mechanic shop.


	2. 2004 - St. Sebastian Hospital

“Paging Dr. Carlson. Dr. Carlson, please report to the maternity ward.” 

Juliet pressed her thumb against the number ‘3’ button on the elevator with one hand and brought her styrofoam coffee cup to her lips with the other. She took a sip as the elevator jerked upwards, sloshing the hot liquid - almost black with just a hint of sugar - around in the cup, which was fortunately covered with a plastic lid. The elevator at St. Sebastian Hospital always got off to a rocky start. Maintenance promised to look into it years ago, but no one had gotten around to it yet. If Juliet had any skill with mechanics, she would have fixed it herself by now, but the maintenance request was the best she could do at the moment. 

The elevator lurched to a stop, and Juliet stepped out onto the third floor of the hospital. She downed the last swallow of her coffee and tossed the empty cup into the trash before making her way to room 325. 

“Good morning,” Juliet said as she rapped on the door. The door creaked open, revealing a distinguished older gentleman and his very pregnant wife. Her nine o'clock appointment was right on time, and ready for her. It’s a shame she was pushing nine thirty. 

“Good morning, Dr. Carlson,” the woman said. 

“Running late?” asked the man. 

“Stop teasing the doctor, Goodwin,” the woman chided. 

“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Stanhope,” Juliet said with all the amiability she could muster. Running after David was not kind on her nerves. She pulled a pair of rubber gloves out from one of the receptacles and snapped them onto her hands. “My son left his science project at home this morning and I had to run it out to him.”

“Just think, Harper,” Goodwin said. “Any day now, this could be us.” 

“Not for another few years, I hope,” Harper said. “If she’s doing science projects from birth, I may donate her body so they can study her.” Goodwin flashed his dimpled smile, and Juliet felt that familiar tug behind her stomach. Juliet smiled as well. 

“Let’s just hope for a nice, normal baby,” Juliet said, then added, “whatever that means.” 

“As long as she’s healthy, we’ll be happy,” Harper said. “I know it’s a cliche, but we are.” Juliet nodded. 

“You know the drill,” Juliet said, pulling out the ultrasound wand. “I’d like you to lay down on the table so we can get started. Let’s take a look at your little girl.” Harper lay back and lifted up her shirt as Juliet took the bottle of gel and squirted some into her hands. 

“So how are you two getting along with the baby on the way?” Juliet asked as she began to lather Harper’s stomach. Small talk was an indispensable part of good bedside manner. 

“Damn good,” Harper said. “Goodwin just found a place.” 

“A place?” Juliet asked again. “For whom?” 

“For me,” Goodwin said, and Juliet stopped briefly. “It’s okay, we don’t mind talking about it. Harper and I aren’t really working out.” 

“We figure that it’s better to be honest about it and split up than to try and pretend we're happy just because we’re having a baby,” Harper added. “There’s no reason to stay together if neither of us want to live together, right? We don’t need to be a couple in order to raise this kid.” 

“That’s a very enlightened way of looking at things,” Juliet agreed as the ultrasound wand did its work. 

“My mom has been having a hard time with it,” Harper said. “I keep reminding her that we’re adults who can make our own choices just fine, but she’s a mom. You know how it goes. She keeps insisting that if we’re not in love, we shouldn’t be married.”

“Not everyone in love gets married,” Juliet said. “My ex-husband and I made very good friends, but not very good lovers. We work different shifts and barely see each other anymore, not to mention taxes and financial independence. Besides, when David goes to college, he can use just one of his parents’ incomes instead of both, and get extra financial aid.”

“Sounds familiar,” Harper replied. “Goodwin and I have been separated for a little under a year, but he’s a starving artist and I’m a psychiatrist. If we divorce he won’t be on my health care plan anymore. Legally speaking, we’re still married, but functionally, we’re separate.” 

“How does that work for you two?” Juliet asked, trying to maintain an air of cool indifference. 

“It’s going pretty well,” Harper replied. “I’m seeing someone.” 

“I’m taking some time to concentrate on my art,” Goodwin added. “Besides, the kid won’t know the difference if she grows up in a less than typical household.” 

“That isn’t so bad,” Juliet said as the ultrasound wand glided across Harper’s stomach. “Divorce isn’t as scary now as it was when I was a kid. When my parents split up, I thought it would be the end of the world. Turns out I was wrong, and I just needed to figure out how to build my own relationships. My ex-husband and I are honest with our son about our feelings, and he’s fine. Moody, but fine.” The sonogram image started to come into focus.

“How old is he?” Goodwin asked. 

“He’s twelve,” Juliet said. “So the moodiness is expected, and it’s only going to get worse.” She smiled a lopsided smile, and Goodwin returned it. The butterflies in Juliet's stomach began to do somersaults. 

“Is that our daughter?” Harper’s question broke Juliet’s distraction, and she glanced at the screen. Sure enough, the image of their child was displayed in black and white. 

“She’s beautiful,” Goodwin breathed. 

“She’s not much of anything yet,” Juliet said. “But in a few months, she’ll come out flesh and blood, and you’ll get to hold her in your arms. Let me tell you, there are few bigger joys in this world than getting to see a life that you made out of nothing. This is going to be one lucky baby.” Goodwin enveloped Harper’s hand in his, and for the third time, the butterfly feeling wound its way around her stomach. She suppressed it. 

“Thank you, Dr. Carlson,” Harper said with a sincere smile.

“You’re very welcome,” Juliet said as she returned it. “I’m glad to help. I’ll get you some wipes to help you clean off, and you can be on your way.” Juliet snapped the rubber gloves off her hands and threw them in the trash before exiting the exam room, trying not to look back at the handsome, available ex-husband of one of her patients. She had three more appointments that morning, and a lunch date to get to.


	3. 1975 - The Barracks

Juliet slipped the necklace over her head and admired herself in the mirror. The snowy white gown fit her better than she thought it would. Amy’s old wedding dress was a little snug up top, but she would leave it unzipped and ask James to pin it together instead. It hugged close to her waist but flared out around her feet and ankles. The see-through lace at the neck was decorated with an intricate series of swirls, and was clear just above her cleavage, which was the perfect spot for the snowflake necklace. Juliet felt a smile creep across her face. She loved her new job, but it was fun, every once in a while, to dress like a princess. 

“You going as a bride?” The voice caused Juliet to whirl around, her dress swirling around her feet as she did so, but it was only her boyfriend. He was wearing his security uniform, his reading glasses, and a lopsided grin. “Cuz I ain’t the marrying type.” 

“James, if I wanted you to marry me, I would get down on one knee and ask you,” Juliet chided. “You really think I’m that passive aggressive?” 

“You are wearing a wedding dress,” James replied defensively, throwing his hands up in front of his face. 

“I’m dressed as the Snow Queen,” she said, picking the snowflake necklace from her chest and flashing it at him. “It was a favorite of mine as a child. I remember loving that Kai and Gerda are just friends, and neither of them ends up marrying royalty. So few fairy tales end like that.” 

“I don’t know any fairy tales that weren’t animated by Wacky Walt,” he said, and Juliet thought of the boy in Room 23. “Cassidy took me to see that Atlantis movie, and I was bored out of my skull.” 

“Yeah, it wasn't the action-packed ride that Little House on the Prairie was,” Juliet teased, and James crumpled up his nose in her direction. He disappeared into their bedroom to change into his costume. 

A knock on the door forced Juliet to turn around. When she made her way over to the door and cracked it open a bit, she saw Amy staring back at her. Amy wiggled her fingers at Juliet from behind the crack in the door. 

“Are you a bride?” Amy asked. Juliet favored her friend with a wry smile, but she was not in on the joke. Juliet cracked the door open more and let Amy inside. “Whatever you are, you look great.” 

“I’m the Snow Queen.” 

“What is the Snow Queen?” Amy asked.

“It’s a fairy tale,” Juliet sighed. “Don’t worry about it. What are you doing here?” 

“I’m on the way back to my house,” Amy replied. “And I had to see your costume.” 

“Speaking of which,” Juliet said. “Where is your costume?” Amy shrugged. 

“I was going to go as a bride, but someone decided to borrow my old wedding dress,” Amy said with a smirk. “And now I just have to go as myself. It’s a damn shame.” 

“You’re horrible,” Juliet said. “You can’t go as yourself for Halloween.” 

“Watch me,” Amy replied. “I’ll be myself, and I’ll look absolutely fabulous.” 

“I have no doubt,” Juliet said. “You’d better get back home so you can set up for all the little trick-or-treaters. Is Olivia’s little girl coming out?” 

“She’s very excited,” Amy answered. “And Olivia couldn’t be happier. Ever since Annie… well, that’s something we’d all rather not talk about.” Juliet nodded knowingly, even though she had no idea what had happened to Annie. “Suffice it to say that we’ve all been very wary of letting kids out after dark, even around the Barracks. Halloween will have to be controlled heavily if we want to keep our kids safe.” 

“I’m sure it will all work out,” Juliet replied optimistically. “James does a very good job with our security.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something a little strange,” Amy said, and Juliet nodded her head. “Everyone calls him Jim, or Lafleur. You’re the only one that calls him James.” 

“That’s not a question,” Juliet said wryly. 

“Okay,” Amy said, grinning. “Why are you the only one that calls him that?” 

“It’s his name, Amy,” Juliet said. “I call him James because that’s his name.” She didn’t say that Sawyer the Wisecracking Jerk was in love with Kate Austen, but Jim Lafleur was in love with her. 

“Okay,” Amy threw up her hands defensively. “I was just curious. Jim’s a good man. You’re very lucky to be out of the cutthroat dating scene.” 

“That’s a healthy way to look at it,” Juliet replied, putting only the slightest hint of sarcasm in her voice. “Haven’t you got to go home and set up for Halloween? The little kids will be by any time now.” 

“I suppose they will,” Amy mused. “I baked raisin sugar cookies this year. I think the kids were sick of getting nothing but Apollo bars, and I know the parents were sick of their kids getting nothing but Apollo bars. It can be murder to try and order things from the mainland here that don’t serve a specific purpose to the Initiative.” 

“Well then I’m not going to tell you what I plan on giving out,” Juliet said. Her friend cracked a knowing smile. “It’ll be dark soon. You should get back.” 

“You’re probably right,” Amy relented. “No one likes to be out after dark here.” Amy’s face fell as she glanced around the yard before leaving Juliet’s doorstep to hurry back to her own place.


	4. 2004 - A cafe outside St. Sebastian Hospital

Juliet first met Dr. Ethan Goodspeed’s mother a few years back. After making friends with Dr. Goodspeed at a conference, she had enjoyed a politely professional relationship with him until meeting his mother by chance on the subway one morning. They struck up a conversation and became fast friends, and had gotten lunch together once a week ever since. 

Elegant in her old age, Amy Goodspeed sat waiting for her at their usual table outside the coffee shop. As usual, she sat in her chair, her back straight, her lithe fingers curled around the handle of a steaming mug of green tea, her graying hair piled on her head in a neat bun. 

“You’re late,” Amy said. 

“I just got out of work,” Juliet replied. “I had to grab an egg salad sandwich on the way. I got one for you too.” Juliet placed the sandwich onto the glass table and sat down opposite her friend. 

“Thank you, dear,” she said as she grabbed the sandwich. “I haven’t had much time to prepare food. Ethan and Annie are staying at the house this month. They brought little Olivia to meet Horace’s side of the family. We haven’t seen her in years, and I don’t think her Horace’s sister has ever met her, despite the child being her namesake.” 

“It’s a magical time,” Juliet agreed. “I remember when David was born. Rachel kept begging me to fly out to Florida to show him off. She said that Julian desperately needed a cousin to play with, and wouldn’t I be happier living near family in Florida.” 

“Would you be?” Amy asked, and Juliet thought for a moment. 

“I don’t know,” she replied honestly. “It’s true that I miss her, but I can’t imagine leaving my job here. I’ve got Jack, and David, and you,” she tipped her sandwich towards Amy to indicate her friend, “and I love my job.” 

“I sense a ‘but’ coming along,” Amy said. “That is to say, another ‘but’.”

“No buts,” Juliet assured her. “I just wish she lived closer is all. I miss Julian. He’s a good kid, and painfully adorable.” 

“You aren’t getting baby fever, are you Julie?” 

“No,” Juliet said with a tiny snort. “Believe me, that ship has long since sailed. One is more than enough. Besides, in order to have a baby, I’ll first need a man.”

“You don’t need a man, Julie,” Amy reassured her.

“I sure don’t need an extra hundred bucks either, but I wouldn’t turn it down,” Juliet quipped. “I haven’t been on a second date since Jack and I separated. It would be nice, every once in a while, to go on a date with a man who doesn’t turn out to be skipping on his parole. The last one never moved out of his parents’ house, and has no plans to do so anytime soon. He was a grocery bagger with no career goals or hobbies. Can you believe it? ” 

“You could always go out with a woman,” Amy suggested.

“With my luck, she’d still turn out to be a parolee,” Juliet said, and both women laughed. “Dating takes so much time and effort. You and Horace are lucky that you’re not playing that game anymore. The rules are constantly changing, and even the playing field is never the same. I can’t keep track.” 

“Sounds appropriate,” Amy said, and Juliet’s cell phone went off. She excused herself after seeing the call was from the hospital. 

“I’m sorry, Dr. Carlson,” the orderly said. “I know it’s not your job and he’s not your patient, and that you’re on lunch, but I thought you should know that Harper Stanhope’s husband just went into cardiac arrest.”


	5. 1975 - The Barracks

Juliet gathered the Apollo Bars into a plastic pumpkin and sat them by the doorway. No sooner had she done that the doorbell rang. Juliet swung the door open to reveal Miles Straume, wearing his security jumpsuit, his hands in his pockets. 

“Miles,” Juliet began, but he interrupted her. 

“Trick or treat,” he said. She sighed.

“Really, Miles?” Juliet asked. “You’re not even in costume.”

“Sure I am,” Miles retorted. He spread out his hands. “I’m a security guard. Give me candy.” 

“Goodbye, Miles,” Juliet said, and she shut the door in his face. He began knocking on the door, and she ignored him. Soon, he started sighing loud enough that she could hear him from her living room, until 

“Can I help you?” Juliet recognized the female voice on the other side of the door as belonging to Jeanette Lewis. She went back over to the door as the clomping sounds of Miles’ feet got more and more distant. When she opened the door, he was gone, and in his place stood Jeanette with her daughter, Charlotte, and a young girl Juliet did not recognize. 

“Wow, you two look nice,” Juliet said. She bent down and took out two Apollo Bars and plopped one into each girl’s bulging pillowcase. 

“I’m a witch,” Charlotte said. She was dressed in a black dress that Juliet recognized as her Sunday Best, and her face had been smudged with green paint. 

“And you make a very scary witch,” Juliet reassured her. 

“I’m a princess!” the other girl yelled. She was also dressed in her church clothes, completed with a hat made out of pink construction paper. 

“I can see that,” Juliet added. “You make a very pretty princess. What’s your name, Your Majesty?” 

“Harper.” The little girl's reply shocked Juliet, but she didn’t let it show on her face.

“That’s a very pretty name, Princess Harper,” she said. “Where are your parents?” 

“Mom teaches at the school all the time,” Harper replied. “She and Uncle Horace are with Amy at the party, and Dad hasn’t been around for a while.” 

“Did he leave?” 

“Olivia’s husband fell victim to the Hostiles before we had cemented the Truce,” Jeanette offered. Juliet nodded. 

“Do you like princesses, Harper?” 

“I love princesses!” Harper squealed. “I want to be a princess when I grow up! 

“I don’t want to be a princess,” Charlotte said, wrinkling her nose. “Princess dresses are for babies.” Harper huffed. 

“Do you think I’m a baby?” Juliet asked, kneeling slightly so that she was closer to the young girl’s level. 

“No, Mrs. Lafleur,” Charlotte replied. 

“Now Charlotte,” her mother chided gently. “We talked about this. Miss Carlson is just a very good friend of Mr. Lafleur’s. They’re not married yet.” Juliet couldn’t be sure if she detected a hint of displeasure in Jeanette’s voice or not. 

“I wanna be friends with Mr. Lafleur!” Harper shouted. “In fact, when I grow up, I’m going to marry him.” 

“Sweetie, he’s much older than you are,” Jeanette cautioned. 

“Then I’ll have to go out and ask that man how he stays young forever.” 

“What man?” Jeanette asked curiously. 

“The man they call Ricardus,” Harper said. “Uncle Horace was talking about him,about how he looks the same now as he did when Uncle Horace came to the Island.” 

“Harper Isabella Barnes!” A shocked Jeanette grabbed the girl by her shoulders and shook her. “You will do no such thing! That man is one of the Hostiles! He is very dangerous.”

“I’m not scared of the Hostiles!” Harper shouted defiantly. Out of the corner of her eye, Juliet saw Charlotte begin to quiver. 

“I love Mr. Lafleur,” Juliet said, unsure if it was true or part of her cover. Either way, Jeanette would welcome the change of subject. “But not everyone in love gets married. We haven’t known each other for very long. It’s only been a year and a half.” Charlotte stared at her feet, looking ready to cry. Juliet knelt down. “But between you and me, I like the witches better too.” 

“But you’re dressed as a princess,” Charlotte said.

“Nope,” Juliet said, shaking her head. “I’m a queen. I’m the evil Snow Queen.” 

“Like out of Narnia?” Charlotte’s icy blue eyes twinkled with excitement. 

“Exactly like out of Narnia,” Juliet replied. “I liked her too.”

“Mom and I are reading that book,” Harper interrupted. “I’m even reading most of it myself.” 

“That’s great,” Juliet said to the other girl. “I’m very proud of both of you.” Juliet heard clomping feet coming down the stairs, and she knew James had chosen that moment to make his grand entrance. His mustard colored shirt and tan pants stood in stark contrast to Juliet’s costume. 

“It seems that Mr. Lafleur has decided to dress as a court jester,” Jeanette said. 

“Captain Kirk,” he said, spreading his arms. “Don’t you people watch TV?” 

“Don’t tease her, James,” Juliet said. “Not everyone shares your love of space westerns.”

“Nobody likes the things I like,” he sulked, crossing his arms. “Story of my damn life.” 

“Mr. Lafleur!” Jeanette screamed as she covered her daughter’s ears. 

“Sorry Jeanette, he said, then he turned to the two girls. “That’s an adult word, so don’t ever say it.” Harper nodded, her eyes large, and Charlotte merely looked curiously at her mother. 

“Thank you for the advice, Mr. Lafleur,” Harper said politely. James ruffled her hair, and Juliet could see Harper blush. 

“Well, we don’t mean to keep you any longer,” Jeanette said as she wrapped an arm around each girl’s shoulder. “We have a lot more houses to get to before the sun goes down. Come on, girls.” Jeanette turned Harper and Charlotte around and the three of them left the doorstep. 

“Nice lady,” James said as soon as they were out of sight.

“You did swear in front of her daughter, James,” Juliet reminded him, and he shrugged. 

“Ain’t no worse than what they’ve heard from Phil,” he said. 

“And that gives you license to sink to Phil’s level?” Juliet asked as she raised her eyebrows.

“Well when you put it like that, I come across as almost as much of a jackass as he does,” James said. He put his arms around her waist, and Juliet could feel the butterflies in her stomach again. 

“Almost,” she said, cracking a smile. “But not quite.” She planted a kiss on his lips, long and slow, and only broke it off when the doorbell rang again. 

Juliet spent the night giving candy bars to the children unfortunate enough to be stuck on the Island with their parents. None of them stayed as long as Charlotte and Harper had, but Juliet’s box of candy was empty by the time the night was over. After dark, she had one final knock on her door. When she opened it, expecting to get a trick-or-treater, she was surprised to see Jin instead. 

“Jin?” What are you doing here?” 

“We’ve got a problem,” he said. “Where Saw- Jim?” 

“He’s inside, asleep.” 

“I don’t want to bother you two, but the last time anyone saw Harper Barnes she was over at your place.” 

“What are you saying, Jin?” 

“Harper has gone missing.”


	6. 2004 - St. Sebastian Hospital

Juliet waited outside the operating room with Amy Goodspeed and Harper Stanhope as her ex-husband, Jack, came through the swinging doors dressed in medical scrubs. His expression was grave. 

“He’s stable, for now,” Jack said, shooting Juliet a meaningful look. She knew that face; it was a face that said ‘but he might not stay that way for long’. 

“Well, what went wrong?” Harper demanded. Her previous demeanor had fallen away, and now her face was set in hard lines and her brow was furrowed. 

“He had heart palpitations before going into cardiac arrest,” Jack reiterated. “We were able to stabilize him, and he could be on his feet again in a few hours.” 

“What do you mean he could be?” Amy asked. 

“Are you family, ma’am?” Jack said, turning to her. 

“Mrs. Stanhope is her niece,” Juliet interjected. “She’s family. When can Mr. Stanhope be released?” Jack eyed her suspiciously but went on. 

“Does he have any history of heart problems?” 

“He has a congenital heart defect,” Harper said, searching for her words through her shock. “He’s always had some occasional trouble with his heart, but nothing serious. We just went to see a heart specialist last year, and the guy said he was doing fine.” 

“With all do respect, Mrs. Stanhope, your husband is not doing fine,” Jack said, and Juliet did not bother to correct him. This was not the time. “I have a lot of medical jargon that I could throw out, but I’ll spare you: Mr. Stanhope needs surgery right now. We need to operate on his heart and try to fix the defect.”

“But it could kill him,” Harper whispered breathlessly.

“The operation could kill him, yes,” Jack cautioned. “But his heart condition will definitely kill him someday. You have the choice of either fixing the problem now with a small chance for his death, or letting it get worse, which will guarantee you’ll lose him. I’ll let you decide while a nurse brings you the paperwork.” He threw Juliet a meaningful look before disappearing back into the OR. 

Amy put a comforting arm around Harper’s back. Harper still stared blankly at the door as it swung shut behind Jack. Juliet called her name once, but she did not respond. Amy squeezed her niece’s shoulder, and Juliet said Harper’s name again. 

“He can’t die,” Harper said simply. Her gaze was fixed on the door to the OR, and she didn’t move it. 

“He will be fine,” Amy reassured her. She brought her eyes up to Juliet, looking for agreement, but Juliet did not give her any. “The doctors here know what they’re doing. He said there was a small chance that he could die, but I’m sure it’s just a precaution. There is a chance that anyone could die in any surgery.” 

“That is true,” Juliet cut in. “But heart surgeries can be complicated. We will do everything we can to make sure he survives, and we'll do everything in our power to make sure your husband walks out of here.

“But there’s a chance that he might not.”

"Yes, there is a chance he might not," Juliet relented. "But all of us here, every one of us, has a small chance that we won't live to see tomorrow. Your husband only has a slightly higher chance than most of us." 

"I can't lose him," Harper insisted, not moving her eyes. "He's my best friend. He can't die." 

"The hospital can't promise that he'll live, but we will do everything in our power to make sure he walks out of here, okay?" Juliet placed a reassuring hand on Harper's shoulder.

"I never thought this would happen," Harper said. "The heart specialist said he would be fine. I can't lose him."

“Mr. Stanhope is currently stable, but unconscious,” Juliet said. “You’re his health care proxy, Harper. A decision needs to be made, and it needs to be made now. The operation could kill him, but it will almost certainly fix his heart if it works. If we don’t do it, he will stabilize on his own, but he will be in here again, and again and again and again until the last time when he won’t go home with you. Do you understand?” Harper nodded weakly. “With Mr. Stanhope unconscious, I need your signature to operate. Do you understand?” Harper nodded again. 

“What am I going to do without my husband?”

“You’re going to live, Harper,” Juliet said. She grabbed the woman by her shoulders and forced Harper to look her in the eyes. “You’re going to live. For Goodwin.”


	7. 1975 - The Jungle

It didn’t take Juliet a minute to abandon her Halloween costume and change back into comfortable jeans and a tank top. She was over at the Motor Pool with James' key before he even noticed she was gone, and she signed out the M1 Carbine with a quick apology note and a promise to bring it back when she was done. Juliet had witnessed firsthand what was out there in the jungle, and between the polar bears, the Monster, the Hostiles, and everything else, there was plenty out there to find Charlotte before Juliet could get to her. 

She was tromping through the forest, leaves crunching under her feet, when she heard a sound from behind her. She froze instantly, like a cornered rat, and turned very slowly around. Her heartbeat thudded in her chest, and she prayed to whoever was listening that whatever was tracking couldn’t hear the thunder claps her heart was making. Soon enough, she let out her breath. 

“Miles? What are you doing here?” 

“I’m security,” he replied simply. He shrugged, and re-shouldered his own rifle. “It’s my job to go looking for someone when they get lost in the jungle. By the way, Jim says to tell him next time you steal his guns.” 

“There’s a child missing out in the jungle,” Juliet said. “There isn’t time.” 

“I got out here pretty fast,” Miles replied. “And I followed procedure and everything. Besides, you’re a mechanic, or a doctor, or a non-combatant. I figured you can use some help.” 

“I could always use the extra pair of eyes,” Juliet agreed. “But I do know how to handle a gun, Miles. My father was a hunter. Rachel and I used to bond with him at the firing range.” 

“Cool story, Juliet,” Miles said. “Can we head out into the jungle now, or do you have any other stories you wanted to tell me? Maybe your first kiss, first period?” Juliet rolled her eyes and started off into the jungle. She pushed a green frond out of her face and continued through the trees until they got to the sonic fence. Miles quickly punched in the code, and he and Juliet crossed the line into Hostile territory. 

The jungle went on forever, and Juliet and Miles had seen the scenery before, many times, and the verdant trees provided little more than cover. Juliet sighed, and Miles cleared his throat. 

“So, how are things with Jim?” 

“Fine,” Juliet said. “Why do you ask?” 

“Just making conversation. Besides you seemed pretty close with Jack before, and he seemed pretty close with-”

“This really isn’t relevant, Miles,” Juliet interrupted. She took her rifle down from her shoulder and stopped to inspect something on the ground until Miles stopped cold in his tracks. “Miles? What is it?” Miles had his gun at the ready. 

“Who the hell are you?” Miles asked Juliet looked up. Miles may not have known who the distinguished man with the salt-and-pepper hair was, but Juliet did. 

“Goodwin,” she breathed. He appeared as he had in life, a sour, angry smile on his age-lined face. He locked eyes with Juliet, and Juliet felt her blood go cold. She knew the Island well enough by now to know that this was not Goodwin. She raised her rifle and pointed it at “Goodwin’s” chest. 

“It’s the Monster,” she said simply, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Miles raise his gun as well. The false Goodwin did not react to their threats. He broke eye contact and turned his gaze to a line of trees to their left. Juliet caught Miles out of the corner of her eye. She could see him checking out the area indicated by the imitation of her former lover. 

“It looks like the path here has been disturbed,” Miles said, his eyes half on the clearing and half on the dead man. “Somebody definitely came this way. Somebody small.” 

“It’s fresh,” the creature said in Goodwin’s voice. “She can’t be far off.” 

“Do we trust it?” Miles asked. Juliet took in a deep breath, keeping her focus on the Monster. She briefly recalled the moment where she ran into Harper in the woods before, and the sinister look that she’d had on her face. 

“You’re not Goodwin,” she said, her face still and her voice level. “I don’t know who you are, but I know who you’re not.” 

“You think you know everything, don’t you,” Goodwin said. “Ask me a question, any question, something only Goodwin would know the answer to.” 

“No.” 

“Your favorite flavor of ice cream, the stuff you’d always eat post-coitus.” 

“Stop talking.” 

“Rocky Road.” 

“You’re not Goodwin, and I’m not going to listen to you.” 

“Uh, Juliet?” Miles added. Juliet focused her eyes on the Monster but kept her ears open. “He’s right. The trail’s going cold. We’d better get after it if we want to catch up to Harper.” 

“Why are you helping us? Why are you helping her?” Juliet asked, not moving her weapon. 

“I thought you weren’t talking to me,” the Monster said. Juliet felt nervous butterflies flutter in her stomach as it replicated Goodwin’s dimpled smile. 

“Why bother?” Juliet asked. 

“I have plans for Harper,” it replied. “She has work to do.” 

“What work?” 

“Now that’s between me and Harper,” it said with a laugh. “Go find her before the polar bears do.” Juliet moved her gaze from the Monster and to the trail. When she looked back at the fake Goodwin, he had already disappeared. Miles was already headed off in the direction indicated by the trail, so Juliet lowered her rifle. She backed away from the clearing and towards the trail, keeping her eyes on the empty spot where the Monster had been standing. She lowered her rifle and turned her back towards the clearing, bounding through the jungle after Miles.


	8. 2004 - St. Sebastian Hospital

Juliet pushed open the door of her first appointment of the afternoon and smiled warmly at the woman in the stirrups. 

“Good morning, Sabine,” Juliet said, and the dark-haired woman smiled back. “Let’s take a look at your boys and see how they’re coming along.” 

“They’ve been very active lately,” she said with a smile. “I can feel them moving around.” 

"That's good," Juliet said. "Active is good. Active means healthy. You shouldn't have any problems with your pregnancy." Sabine let out a breath as Juliet snapped on her gloves. "Have you been thinking about names?" 

"Luke," Sabine replied automatically. "After his father."

“It’s a beautiful name,” Juliet replied. However, as she went to turn on the ultrasound machine, her pager buzzed. She looked at it, and saw Jack’s name emblazoned in bright green LED letters. Juliet put her pager away and briefly excused herself. She rushed down the hallway towards the OR, and found him standing outside with a dark-haired woman in a smart pant suit. When she saw Juliet, she stepped over to her, her heels clicking on the hospital’s tiled floor. 

“I’m Ilana Verdansky,” the smartly dressed woman said. She offered her hand, which Juliet shook. “I’m Mr. Stanhope’s attorney. Can you show me where he is?” 

“You called me out of my appointment for this?” Juliet asked with a glance in Jack's direction. 

“Mr. Stanhope asked for you specifically, Dr. Carlson,” Jack said. “His wife signed the documents as soon as she finished talking with you. She allowed us to perform the operation almost as soon as you left. It was a routine operation, and Mr. Stanhope should be fine. Ms. Verdansky is here to handle his legal paperwork.” 

“I see,” replied Juliet. “Well, thank you for letting me know. I need to get back to my appointment soon.” 

“You should go in and talk with him before he loses consciousness again,” Jack said, his eyes dark and urgent. “He’s going to have to have a long sleep in a few minutes, so it would be good to go see him now, before he passes out again.” Jack raised his eyebrows, suggesting to her that she hurry. 

“I’d like to speak with him briefly as well,” said the lawyer. “I’ve just got a few papers for him to sign as well. Is he lucid enough to be of sound mind?” 

“He should be, at least for a few minutes,” Jack replied. “Keep it brief.” The lawyer nodded.

Juliet pushed the door to his recovery room open with her elbow, with Ilana close behind. Goodwin Stanhope was lying in the bed, hooked up to machines that were taking his pulse and keeping track of his vital stats. His eyes were half open, and he didn’t seem to notice them entering. 

“How are you doing, Mr. Stanhope?” Juliet asked, and his eyes snapped to her. 

“I feel a little funny,” Goodwin said, slurring his words a bit. 

“You’re on a little bit of morphine,” Juliet replied. “This is Ms. Verdansky.” 

“You’re my lawyer,” Goodwin said, the realization dawning on his face. 

“He doesn’t sound like he’s in his right mind,” Ilana said to Juliet, and then turned back to Goodwin. “I’m going to come back with paperwork later.” Ilana clacked out of the room, leaving Juliet alone with him. 

“Alone at last,” Goodwin said, flashing a smirk. “Can I ask you a personal question?” Juliet nodded, feeling her pulse quickening. “What’s your first name?” 

“Juliet.” 

“Juliet,” Goodwin repeated. “ ‘It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.’ Sorry, was that too forward? I’m a little fuzzy right now.” 

“You’re fine, Mr. Stanhope,” Juliet reassured him. “I like meeting people who are well-read enough to make Shakespeare jokes about my name. Most people just ask me if they can be my Romeo. It’s nice to meet someone who can actually quote the play.” 

“It’s nice to meet someone who can recognize quotes from the play,” Goodwin said. “Harper and I got along for many reasons, but she has no real appreciation for the arts.” 

“Not everyone does,” Juliet said. “But it’s nice to be able to talk about.” 

“Before I pass out again, I wanted to ask you something.” 

“Shoot.”

“How would you like to go out for coffee after I recover?” Goodwin asked. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Well, I don’t know,” he said. “You heard my lawyer. I’m not in my right mind. I’d better ask you quick before I recover my senses and feel nervous around you again. If you accept, remind me when I wake up again.” 

“I will do that,” Juliet said, adopting her own smirk. “Now you get some rest. It’ll take some time to recover from your operation.” 

“Good,” he said. He lay back down in his bed and closed his eyes. “Tell Harper that I’m okay.” 

“I will do that,” Juliet assured him. “Now get some rest.” She walked out of the room, where she found Harper waiting for her.

“How is he?” 

“He’s okay,” Juliet said. She put her hand on Harper’s shoulder. "He’s going to need some time to recover, but he’ll be fine. The operation was a success.”

"That's good to hear," Harper said as she let out a breath. "So his problem is gone for good?" 

"It should be," Juliet said. "I'm not a surgeon or a heart specialist, but he seems okay, and his surgeon said the operation was a success." A single tear crawled down Harper's face before she burst into tears. Juliet enveloped her in a hug

“I lost my dad to a heart attack,” Harper told Juliet as buried her face in Juliet's lab coat. “When he began to have his palpitations, we rushed him to the hospital. He didn’t survive the operation. None of us was ever sure why. I thought it was the doctor’s fault for such a long time. They killed my father. I didn't want them to kill Goodwin too.” 

“Sometimes the surgeries just don’t go as planned,” Juliet said. “Sometimes people die. That’s life. Your husband is still alive. You should take comfort in that. He obviously means a lot to you, whether your relationship is romantic or not. Take comfort in that.” Harper pulled her head away from Juliet's chest and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater.

"Thank you, Dr. Carlson," Harper said. "You've been a very good friend to me since I got pregnant." 

"Since we're friends," Juliet said nervously. "Your husband offered to take me out for coffee, and I accepted his invitation." 

"Good," Harper replied. "Ever since I started dating Bonnie, I think he feels a little left out. She's vacationing in Canada right now with her friend Greta, and that gave Goodwin and I a little time to talk. I wasn't right for him, but maybe you are." 

"Anything is possible," Juliet added. "I'm glad you're not upset. I would hate to be the other woman." 

"You're not," Harper said with a chuckle. "Maybe you and I and Bonnie and Goodwin can all get together for dinner sometime and have the most awkward meal on the planet." 

"I'd like that," Juliet said. She found herself laughing out loud. "Thank you for understanding. I have to get to another appointment, but you will have to contact me later." 

"Definitely," Harper said, the corners of her mouth turning up. "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."


	9. 1975 - The Jungle

Sure enough, there in the jungle, tucked in the roots of a banyan tree, Harper sat, curled in the fetal position, her eyes downcast. Juliet nodded to Miles, and he stood watch as Juliet ducked through the foliage to where Harper was hiding. The young girl’s eyes were red and swollen. 

“I couldn’t find Ricardus.” 

“I know, Harper,” Juliet said. She wrapped an arm around Harper’s shoulders and sat her up. “It’s okay. We need to get you back home. We can talk about Ricardus at the compound, okay?” 

“Okay,” Harper sniffed. She hauled herself off the ground and, with Juliet’s support, left the security of the banyan tree. Miles lowered his rifle as the two females left the safety of the hollow. 

“What were you thinking, running off like that?” Miles asked. He advanced on Harper, who shrunk protectively against Juliet. Her whimpers were muffled by Juliet’s shirt, and Juliet met Miles’ eyes. 

“There’s time for that later, Miles,” Juliet said. “We found her. She’s safe. We’ll let Olivia yell at her when we get back to the Barracks.” 

“I didn’t just run off,” Harper said indignantly. “It was my dad. He told me where to go.”

“It looked like your dad,” Juliet reassured her. “It can look like a lot of people. Just because it looks like them doesn’t mean it is them.” Out of the corner of her eye, Juliet saw the Monster in it’s disguise as Goodwin, watching the exchange. 

“We call it the Monster,” Miles said. 

“It tricks you, plays on your emotions, makes you see things that aren't real," Juliet said, unable to take her eyes away from the Goodwin apparition. "It knows you, what you want, and more importantly, what you miss. It will do anything to accomplish its goals, and you can be sure that it will manipulate you. If you see your dad again, don't listen to him, okay?" 

"But I miss him." 

"I know you do," Juliet said. "But what about your mom? Do you love your mom too?" Harper nodded cautiously. "What do you think your mom is doing right now?" 

"Sleeping?" Harper guessed. 

"She's probably worried sick about you," Juliet offered. "You're all she has left, and she's probably afraid that she'll lose you. You don't want to make your mom sad, right?" Harper shook her head. "Good. Then we'll all go back together and tell her you're okay." 

The trip back to the Barracks was uneventful, and the Monster didn't bother them for the rest of their trek through the jungle. Just inside the sonic fence, a hysterical Olivia was being comforted by her brother, Horace. Jin and James were at his side, each of them holding their own rifle. Jin's eyes were focused on Olivia. When she saw Harper, the relief that washed over her face was visible even from far away, and she would have run to her daughter, straight through the sonic fence, if Horace had not held her back.

James punched in the access code, and Juliet allowed Harper to run into her mother's arms. Mother and daughter embraced, and Olivia held Harper so tightly Juliet was afraid she would be in pain. Juliet and Miles crossed through the fence, and James turned it back on before leaning over her shoulder. 

"When I said I thought you should try cowgirl, this is not what I mean," he whispered. "Warn me next time. I am head of security, after all." 

"There was no time, James," Juliet argued. The trail was going cold. I had to move quickly." 

"Just let me know," he said. "It's dangerous out there in the jungle."

"I can take care of myself," Juliet assured him. 

"I have no doubt," he said. "But I have to go write up a report on this. Go take care of Olivia and Harper. Make sure they're okay. Harper's a good kid." Juliet nodded. "I'll see you later." As James returned down the path towards his office, Juliet noticed Amy running up the path to meet them. 

"What happened? Is Harper okay?" 

"She's fine, she's just scared," Juliet replied. "She didn't get too far. How she bypassed the sonic fence without the code is anyone's guess, but she's back now. That's something she can figure out later." 

"Olivia looks," Amy began, but couldn't finish her thought. The Initiative's teacher had her arms wrapped around Harper's shoulders still, and she alternated between sobbing into her daughter's neck and admonishing her. "She looks like she needs a friend." 

"She's raising Harper herself," Juliet said. "It's just the two of them." 

"Not anymore," Amy said as she dusted off her hands. "She'll have us."

"Oh, am I being volunteered?" Juliet asked. 

"You don't have to help take care of her," Amy said. "But she might be my niece someday. I'm going to have to get to know her at least."

"That's very true," Juliet reasoned. "You make a good point. I'd like to get to know Harper as well." Sure, Daniel said that the past was fixed, and whatever happened, happened, but it couldn't hurt to be nice to the young, impressionable Harper. Outside the safety of the sonic fence, she saw Goodwin staring at her again, and straightened her back.

"Who says a child needs a father to grow up, anyway?" Amy said. "If it takes a village to raise a child, we'll use the village we've got. God forbid Harper run off and join the Hostiles."

Juliet chuckled a bit, and she nodded. Harper deserved a chance. If she would grow up and meet Goodwin, Juliet could at least be kind to her now. After all, she was not the frigid psychiatrist that Juliet knew from her past, but an innocent eight-year-old. This Harper had done nothing to her, and Juliet resolved to respond by being kind. 

"Jules?" Miles asked, and Juliet snapped out of her thoughts. "You coming? We're all going back to the Barracks. I mean, if you want to stay out in the creepy jungle at night, you're more than welcome to, but I'm not gonna look for your body in the morning." 

"I'll be right along, Miles," Juliet said. With one last ominous stare from the false Goodwin, Juliet rushed towards the rest of the Initiative.


	10. 1975 - Outside the Sonic Fence

The Man in Black watched as Juliet rejoined her people and returned to her home, chatting excitedly with Harper Barnes. Another candidate scratched off the list. Harper had the chance to visit him underground in the tunnels leading to the Temple, and in the guise of her father, he had gotten her to come over to his way of thinking. Now, if only he could get one of the candidates to set off the bomb that Ricardus had buried underneath the Dharma Initiative's home. John had done well, correcting the mistake made by Jacob's idiot servant, stranding at least three of the candidates in 1974, where they would no doubt live out their lives and die long before his plan to escape the Island would be enacted. The candidates who escaped as the Island started to hop through time would need to be drawn back. It would be too much to hope that they could just move on with their lives. Besides, Jacob's candidates had a way of spiraling towards entropy, that is, this cursed Island. He had to do little more than wait for them to return, and the natural tendency of humans to kill each other, and he would be rid of the last few candidates soon enough. Then he would finally be able to leave, if only someone would detonate that bomb...


End file.
